Combinations

I talked about how much I disliked combinations before, but yesterday I had a class with combinations that I liked.  It was fun doing them with partners.

I used to get discouraged because I was always getting corrected on whatever I did in class and it seemed much more than everyone else.  It doesn't really bother me anymore, it's kind of neat how the Sifu's can see whenever I move wrong and fix it right away.  Better than going through to Sihing with bad habits.  I'm starting to really like the intermediate class, even though it's so late. 

I'm off to my brother's wedding tomorrow, all the best to everyone in the Canada Day demo!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkr0VYcZ-eY

Didn't I Just Do a Warmup?

I successfully completed my 3rd warmup.  Still don't like it but I've seemed to come up with a way that makes it a bit easier for me plus, I get to do whatever I want.  I don't have to do squat thrusts if I don't want too and as soon as I get tired, I have the control to change things up.  I think maybe if I do a few more, it won't be such a big deal...I seriously hope Sifu Lindstrom doesn't read my blog or he'll hold me to that...Seriously Sifu, don't hold me to that...I'm much braver over the internet!

My pushups and situps have fallen off the wagon and I can tell.  I'm going to have to get back on that and not be so friendly with my snooze button.  I also haven't been practicing my hand form as I've become frustrated with it and have been concentrating on learning the orange belt forms.  I know that if you're frustrated it means you should practice it more but I am kind of a belligerant child sometimes.

I do miss practices and getting to know everyone, I wish I lived closer and didn't have to work so early, even my Monday and Wednesday classes are becoming difficult.  Maybe in the future some of our practices can be on a Saturdays.

Having a bad day?  How can you not be happy while watching baby pandas?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u155ncSlkCk

Domestic?!

As part of my acts of kindness I have been making coffee for everyone at work and doing dishes once in awhile.  I've also started making my lunches and cooking which was one of my personal goals.  Today one of the guys said he was shocked at how domesticated I've become within the past month and asked if I was pregnant.  This made me laugh pretty hard. 

Yesterday I got my forms stripe.  I've finally learned Long 1 and am managing somewhat of a shoulder roll in Sei Chein (sp?) I found Long 1 pretty hard to learn for some reason but I can finally do it, now I just have to make it smooth so its not so awkward looking.

I'm starting to do my pushups and situps before class, I'm still a bit embarrassed doing it, but I'm doing it anyway.  I'm hoping to upgrade to practicing my forms before class by the end of next month.  It doesn't seem like a big deal, but its a start to get used to doing things with people around.  I haven't yet done my ropedart form in front of my family but will by the end of the summer.

I found a chiropractor I like, I go see him next week.  I'm hoping he can fix me.

I leave you with one of my favorite musicians;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc27KW4l7O0

Mr. Donahue's Challenge

My voice recorder seems to be working today.  I've already done 10 acts of kindness and its only noon.  Hopefully I've finally figured out this logging thing.  I'm going to try to make a habit of taking it wherever I go, along with my cell phone. 

I find Mr. Donahue's challenge interesting.  I didn't realize but I rarely do anything nice for myself and feel bad when I do because I feel like any money I spend on me or time I spend on myself feels selfish.  I also do not receive nice things or compliments very well.  I always think someone has some sort of alterior motive when they're really nice to me.  Why?  What's  wrong with me that I shouldn't receive?  I'm actually pretty awesome once you get passed my bs.  I think I'd better start being nicer to myself.

I would also like to say that I have successfully not flipped anyone off in traffic for 4 continuous months...

Anyway, I will leave you with this;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTbbYLvhDSM

For the record, the dog approach works better with me...

Hitting a Wall

Well, to be honest, I haven't really been enjoying kung fu for the past month.  I don't know if I'm just hitting a temporary wall or if this was the wrong decision for me and I need to look into doing something else.  When I joined I Ho Chaun I thought that the commitment was every second Friday and one Saturday a month and then there was a bunch of things you do on your own.  I didn't think that it would become a 6 day a week thing or else I never would have commited because I know I can't commit to being in Stony that amount of time.  I tried.  I showed up every single practice for awhile and it got to be way to much.  Other things in my life suffered quite a bit, work was a big one and one I really can't afford to lose right now.  I said that I can't make it to Tuesdays and Thursdays anymore but yet am still being asked where I was and..."you're coming next week right?"...Yes, I feel guilty and like crap saying no, but no I can't make it.  Being told to suck it up and show up doesn't make my ability to come any different.  It's not the kung fu that has been making me not enjoy kung fu...it's the guilt I'm feeling but honestly had I known I would be expected to be there so many times, I would not have joined the I Ho Chaun because I would've known in advance that I'd be dissappointing people.  I can be there for my Mon/Wed class, Fridays and Saturdays.  I can't make Tuesdays, Thursdays or Sundays.  I again, won't be there the Canada Day weekend because my brother is getting married in Lethbridge.  We're leaving Friday and coming back Sunday or Monday, I'm pretty sure the Sunday though. (I can bring the invitation to show that I'm just not trying to get out of anything)  Also, I will be missing the class July 26th because of tickets Josh got as an early birthday gift. 

The things I am enjoying has been getting to know everyone.  I'm alot less shy about asking questions about things I don't understand.  I am being alot nicer to people and I've started eating way healthier and taking care of myself alot better.  If I could just stop letting the guilt eat at me, I'd be much happier.  And I'm sorry that I'm dissappointing people.

I Am Breathing In

So, here's the thing.  I'm a super anxious person with a mind that won't quit...ever.  I worry about stuff, I psyche myself out of things by overthinking and by brain simply just won't shutup.  I've read about people who can live in the moment and I often think how glorious that would be to never lose sleep over anything.  I've tried saying to myself "I am breathing in, I am breathing out" but immediately, not even a half second later my mind starts to race.  I know for a fact, you can shut off your brain, walking around the streets of Edmonton has shown me that several people know how to do this, although, I think for alot of them, it isn't intentional either.  I need to know HOW!  How do I control this over active mind to allow myself not to worry about every darn thing and just allow myself to be content with what I am doing NOW?! 

Cancer's a Jerk

I've watched cancer attack many good people in my life.  It took my grandfather very quickly, my grandmother was able to have surgery remove hers, my stepfather is in remission and my mom is able to have her pre cancerous tumours removed this July before they develop any further.  I found out yesterday a good ex-coworker/musician/friend is losing his battle. 
I went through cancer testing last year, it was very scary.  I chose to do it alone which was a big mistake because I started panicking as soon as I started getting the needles put in me and put into big machines.  I thankfully do not have it, but it really makes you think of your own mortality.  I've been trying to live a healthier life, but it seems almost impossible to find good information.  What you're told is good for you one day is the worse for you the next, and why is healthy food so darn expensive?  Why don't they spend more time finding out what's causing cancer and eliminate it instead of trying to find a cure (which I'm pretty sure they have, but that's another rant).  Gimme a break, with all the crap that's thrown into our food and environment, you seriously don't think these awful diseases are inevitable?  But hey, let's just fight all these problems caused my unatural things by introducing more unatural things to fight them. Makes sense to me *sarcasm font*.   Sometimes I seriously hate being from this planet.
Anyway, my prayer for today is that I can see Fred play his bass again and we can chat about life over a rye and ginger.  Hang in there buddy, you'll get through this!

Gameplan

My posts seem to be really negative.  Not intentional, just kung fu seems to be a mixture of all the things I'm the worst at, so I have to work on it harder than anything else.  I grew up quitting when things got difficult.  I used to be an amazing little artist.  I actually have friends from elementary and junior high finding me on Facebook, asking me if I ever went anywhere with it.  My answer is no.  The reason sadly is because when I tried drawing peoples faces, I couldn't do it perfectly right away so I gave it up entirely.  I did the same with piano and guitar.  I picked it up quite quickly but wasn't as good as the guy beside me so instead of learning from him, I quit.  I wish I could tell younger Lindsay how talented she was and stupid she was to give up.
I don't want to do the same thing with kung fu.  It's definitely not something that comes easy to me, but I do recognize the fact that I am progressing.  The weapons training, will by far be my favorite part despite how much I argue with my weapon.  Being in front of people is my least favorite, along with combinations.  I have some things I have to do in order to keep going with my training.  First, get the hip, knee and other appendages looked after and fixed, I can't keep going with the pains I'm having. Second, get on a proper diet so I stop shaking so much and get the nutrients I need.  Third, work on my flexibility, I will be looking into hot yoga.  Fourth, slowly get used to doing my kung fu in front of people.  I will start this by showing my family my ropedart form, as well as practicing before and after classes with people around.  Once I get all this looked after, I will start San Shao because I'm also horrible at sparring.  My intention was to join that class sooner, but I have to prioritize and there's only 24 hours in a day.  I think if I keep looking after one thing at a time, I won't get so overwhelmed.
I will stick to my Mon and Wed classes and Practices Fridays and Saturdays with the Shaolin Fitness.  I need the other days to accomplish the other stuff on my list.
I Ho Chaun has definitely helped me focus on becoming a more mindful person.  I am actively conscious about the decisions I make, how I treat others and the impact my words can have on people.  I was surprised when another student thanked me for how I treated her when she first started.  She said that she appreciated how helpful I was and she was so nervous it was nice for her to have a friendly face to approach.  That's the kind of Sifu I want to be one day.  The one that motivates the people that are afraid to step into the kwoon, to keep coming back, because  I completely understand that feeling.

Parade/Demo

I thought everyone did fantastic during the parade and demo.  Honestly, personally, I did not like being in the parade.  If anyone else asked me to do this, the answer would've been no.  Too many people watching and it made me very uncomfortable but one of my goals was to try the dragon in front of the crowd and I did.  It was only for a little while, my cardio couldn't handle it and I think between that and my nerves I could only handle the short stint.  So, I apologize for not filling in more.  I did however look after Ms. Csillags littlest one (who I adore) so she could fill in.  I don't know how you all lasted so long jogging so far, boy am I ever in poor shape.  I'm going to find something to do to get my cardio better.  I don't enjoy running and don't feel you should do it unless someone is chasing you.  I'm sure there are other things out there I'd like that would help.