Tiger Challenge

I really liked helping with Tiger Challenge this year. Watching all the events and seeing everyone compete at all levels was awesome. I'm always so impressed with the people who are so nervous but get up there anyway and do their thing, that takes a lot of bravery since it's so much easier to just not show up. That's kind of what I tend to do. I was surprisingly kind of sad to not be in the dragon dance, I didn't think it would bother me but I just can't keep up yet. The way I look at it though is I can only get better, I'm a work in progress and I've become ok with that. I was actually nervous to read peoples scores out loud, kind of a stupid thing to be nervous about but I was, after a few times when I realized I could in fact count to ten, I was ok. I was really happy to see Mr. Hatton from my class win gold for breaking all his boards. My favorite part was watching the blackbelts compete, you all seem to have such a good relationship with each other and that's such an awesome thing to see. I thought it was great of Mrs. Csillag to organize the pizza afterward. It was a great way to end the day. Although, I'm not too sure I'm a huge fan of rutabaga. Anyway, these are my random thoughts about Tiger Challenge. Good job everyone and shout out to Sihing Csillag (and anyone else I don't know about) for doing a lot of the organizing.

Things That Are Scary

I didn't sign up for Tiger Challenge this year. Yes, I understand it would be good for me and logically I know I should do it, but the irrational fearful side of me is much louder than the rational side this time. The things I fear are; Public performances/speaking, centipedes/worms, clowns, heights and deep water...pretty much in that order. Yes, I've been pushing myself over and over out of that comfort zone. I've done warm-ups, the forms seminar, talked a lot more in front of the class, I walked the suspension bridge in Drumheller and went in the deep end at the wave pool in west ed. These don't seem like a big deal to the average person I'm sure, but I'm not sure that I'm all that normal. I'm the kind of person that has to gain courage on my own when it comes to things I'm afraid of, a little encouragement helps, but if I'm pushed, the claws come out and there's no way you will ever get me to do it. ever. period. It's kind of like Sihing Krebs blog about when he touched the tarantula. Do you think that he'd get over his fear if you threw him in a big pit of them, no, you'd give him nightmares and anxiety for weeks. You have to start off by touching one, then maybe you could hold one, then maybe let one crawl on you...baby steps. So, maybe I'm not advancing as fast as some people may think I should because I haven't done my form in front of the class yet, but I'm working up to it. Mrs. Csillag asked me..."What would work to help you?" I thought that was a great question to ask and I don't know the answer yet, but I'm thinking about it. I'm coming to volunteer for Tiger Challenge this year so I know what to expect and the goal is to participate next year. I'm not sure if this Blog makes sense, forgive me I'm still a little sick and it's early. :)

First Day Back

It's my first day back at work after being off sick. Oh my...what an overwhelming pile of paperwork to deal with. I guess that's what you get when you are the only one in your position. I feel bad having to work Saturday now after planning tiling for that day, I'm really sorry about that. I had a good Thanksgiving, I have so many things to be thankful for this year. I was lucky enough to have 2 dinners with people I really love. I have a job, a car, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, people who love me and I live in Canada. What more could a girl ask for?

Life as a White Belt

Ms. Csillags blog about bowing in made me think back to when I was a white belt. I remember not knowing when to bow. I remember thinking Sifu Stoddard was Sifu's daughter, it probably took me about 6 months to realize that her and Sifu Brinker were not related. I remember asking Sifu Playter (male) a question and being so confused when he told me to go talk to Sifu Player. I remember hiding in the back as much as possible because I was horribly uncoordinated and so embarrassed. I remember Sifu Shipalesky patiently trying to teach me how to do a spinning back kick for an ENTIRE class and telling me "good job" when I still didn't get it by the time we bowed out. I remembering Ms. Csillag being the first student to come talk to me. Everything we do in that school will impact someone else whether it is positive or negative. I clearly remember those who helped me as a new student. We all have different fears and insecurities so being empathetic to those within the kwoon is just as important as anyone else. Even as we move up the rank the fears and insecurities are still there, they just may change to something different. So nomatter what, if you see someone struggling, be a friend and kindly encourage them, any discouraging word may just drive someone to give up. I know that if the Sifu's I first had not shown me the patience and respect they did, I wouldn't be here typing this blog.

Sleep and McDonalds

Bah, the past few weeks have been stressful and all I want to do is sleep. No matter where I am I feel the desperate urge to just curl up for a nap. Last night I missed class because I sat down for a minute and the next thing I knew it was after 9. I'm also craving junk food, just now I had McDonalds for lunch, and yes I pictured Sifu Playters disapproving stare. Maybe it's the weather change, I don't know. The 8:30 classes are feeling so late right now, I guess going forward anytime I sit down I should set an alarm. I can't be missing classes! I want my green belt as a Christmas gift!

My Year So Far...

Well at first this I Ho Chaun thing really stressed me out. I was feeling discouraged and frustrated which ended up making me feel incredibly unmotivated. After awhile I started looking at it differently as the things I started getting out of this ended up different than what I expected. Alot of the things that have changed for me. I am more conscious of what I eat. Anything microwavable or fast was my answer to everything, now I pay more attention to what I eat. I still eat the things I crave, I've just come to terms that chocolate is a snack and not a food group. I'm way more aware of how I treat people. Do I still get frustrated with the human race? Absolutely!!! I try to control my temper much better now though, use my manners more and appreciate it so much more when people do kind things for me. I'm still a work in progress as things still make my blood boil but I don't think I'm as bad as I used to be. I'm also slowly working on my fear and anxiety when it comes to doing things in front of people. I haven't yet been brave enough to do a form or anything in front of the group but I've been pushing myself slowly and surely. Last year would I have done a warm up? Nope! Would I have done Bootcamp? Bigger Nope! Forms seminar? Heck No! So regardless whether I do a demo or not this year, there has still been progress. I'm also not afraid to ask questions in class anymore and am much more patient with myself. I find although my body still doesn't cooperate with me as much as I'd like it too, I'm picking things up faster because I'm learning to calm myself down. Before, I'd just get aggravated and give up. So, am I doing everything on the list? No, but I'm setting myself up to be able to do it all by the time I'm ready to grade. By starting as an orange belt, I have longer to learn to discipline myself and am learning alot from the rest of the team about what I have to do to be successful. I may be the last one in the line up but I have nowhere to go but forward.

Mr. Leung?

Mr. Leung? Where are you? Did you find an island like the one I talked about in a previous blog? If so, I'm kind of mad at you for not telling me about it.