To Many Lemons to Make Lemonade

Well, I'm not going to lie, it's been pretty difficult to not to be depressed with all the personal crap I've been having to deal with lately. Seems like one thing after another. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for trying to lead a healthier life. It would be so much easier to just give up and not even bother. When I start to feel to bad, I just try to make a mental list of all the things I have to be grateful for, or force myself to smile whether I like it or not. Seems to keep me from going insane so far.

Sifu Kichko, I owe you 500 modified pushups. I couldn't do them yesterday, I was really sick. I will do them as soon as I'm feeling better and post them for you.

Sifu J. Lagner - I forgot to bring my numbers when I watched class on Friday, so as promised, here they are;

Pushups - 40
Modified Pushups - 465
Tricept Pushups - 135

Situps - 115
Modified Situps - 210
Plank - 90 Seconds

Miles - 47.5

Rounds of Sparring - 9

Lao Gar (The part I know) - 16

Ropedart - 16

Recorded Acts of Kindness - 40

On a positive note: I read one book this week and I knit a washcloth, what I intended to be a washcloth anyway, looks like a piece of swiss cheese.

My Cat Ate My Pedometer

Yesterday I woke up in the earliest hours of the morning to a crunching sound. My cat was chewing on my pedometer. She's also taken to chewing on cellphones. I'm thinking her new name is going to be mittens pretty soon if she keeps it up. Good news is, I logged .3 of a mile while asleep. Yay me!

I haven't been doing so well with my numbers. I'm so exhausted lately, waking up early and staying awake past 8 is becoming difficult and if I don't do them in the morning, I don't do them at all. I need to fight it and just do it. Kung fu doesn't care if I'm tired, just have to find a way to do it. Period. I'm nervous to go back to my classes, and start San Shao, after the past few months I've gotten so weak and slow, it's pretty embarrassing but I know that the only way to get better is to just do it. No excuses, just results.

My numbers so far;

Pushups - 40
Modified Pushups - 395
Tricept Pushups - 115

Situps - 115
Modified Situps - 170
Plank - 70 seconds

Miles - 37.5

Rounds of Sparring - 9

Loa Gar Reps (The part I know) - 16
Ropedart Reps - 16

Recorded Acts of Kindness - 40

Get Out Of My Brain Mr. Smid

I'm really enjoying the blogging this year. It was getting a bit lonely nearing the end of the Snake Team. Mr. Smid's blogs make me smile because I know exactly what he's writing about because I've had the exact same thoughts. Thanks for helping me feel normal Mr. Smid. :)

Keep blogging everyone! We all can help each other so much better when we know what your struggling with, and we'll all know who to ask questions when you are successful at something. I'm really enjoying reading everyone's thoughts with my morning coffee in hand. I can actually hear everyone's voices as I read your blogs so it's like you're talking to me in my head. Please tell me I'm not the only weird one doing that.

Not So Lonely Anymore

Last year I remember spending alot of time alone in the corner during I Ho Chaun class. I stared at my weapon, my weapon stared at me, and we didn't quite know what to think of each other. I spent alot of time watching everyone else to afraid to show my awkward clumsiness in front of a bunch of higher level belts. This year is way more fun already. I think part of it is that I've become more comfortable with my awkwardness and the other part is that there's 3 other people with their hinged weapons in the same corner with me. It's going to be awesome learning new things from each other and I'm really excited about it. Sifu Wetter and Sihing Krebs, Supercat40 Rope Dart tutorials are really good on Youtube. He slows it down step by step and it's super easy to follow.

My personal goals have alot to do with family and spending time with them. I have a goal of having at least 52 dates with Josh. With him going to school and working, our schedules don't really match up and last year we spent little time together. This year I want that to be different. I also included times I want to spend with my Mom, Grandma and conversations I want to have with my Dad. I want to read 12 books this year. I want to calm my temper and be nicer, especially when driving. I also have a more personal one that I'm going to work on as well.

My logged numbers are:

Pushups - 40
Modified Pushups - 275
Tricept Pushups - 75

Situps - 55
Modified Situps - 120
Plank - 50seconds

Miles - 25.5

Rounds of Sparring - 9

Lao Gar Reps - 10 (The tiny part I know)
Ropedart Reps - 16

Recorded Acts of Kindness - 30

Feel Like I Lost 5000 lbs

I ended last year pretty rough and started this one the same. Around October of last year I started feeling more tired, weaker and ran out of breath quicker, which was weird to me because I thought that I should be doing better, not worse, so I just assumed it was winter blues, I hate the cold. December was even worse. I struggled everyday to just stay awake and was having other issues as well so I made a doctors appointment. They thought I was anemic maybe had a problem with my kidney so I was sent for blood tests, urine tests and ultrasounds. During a second ultrasound for my abdomen the girl came in and told me to call my doctor immediately. I called my doctor and was told to come in the very next morning. I was told they found 4 masses on my liver and I needed to be rushed for a CT scan. I had about 6 different doctors appointments within a span of 2 weeks. My doctor thought it was possible that I may have liver cancer. I found out Friday at around 3pm that the masses look benign. *Huge sigh of relief* I still have to go for a MRI and get a biopsy done to confirm and figure out what these things are growing in my liver but I'm no longer considered an "emergency patient". I felt so incredibly light going to class Friday and having the worse case scenario lifted off my shoulders. I had explained the situation to Sifu Brinker so he knew why I had completely disappeared, but was uncomfortable talking about it with anyone else. The reason I'm sharing this now is because I know I'm ok and to tell you to TRUST YOUR BODY. If anything is unusual for you, talk about it to someone and get in with a doctor. Your body will tell you if it's not happy and you need to figure out why and not give up. Also, if people aren't showing up to class, don't assume bad things, sometimes things are just difficult to talk about. During these hospital visits my Mom's Dad had passed away too, so needless to say, life got in the way. Right now, because of the past couple months I feel I am a much more calmer, compassionate and empathetic person...I hope I can remember this the next time someone cuts me off in traffic. :) I'm still a work in progress...

So this year I'm off to a really slow start, but after yesterdays class and yesterdays good news I feel like I'm going to do way better for myself this year. I'm making deals everywhere with people to make myself accountable for my actions. I'm working on balancing my life to include those I neglected last year with my training. I will commit to my Monday and Wednesday classes (I'm going to get my blue belt this year!) and I will come to Fridays classes and Saturday meeting times but I may have to say no when it comes to some of the other stuff so I apologize in advance. I need to stick to my new schedule and keep a maintainable pace without neglecting everything else. I'm an all or nothing person and I want that to change. It definitely is all about balance and I want to focus on not having to many highs and lows this year. I will start posting my numbers starting with my next blog.

Congrats Sifu Csillag and Sifu Langner!

Best Chinese New Years banquet ever! It was my first banquet that inspired me to start kung fu and each year re-engages me to keep going. This was my favorite one yet! I think it's because I got to witness everyone's journey this year to a small degree. It made me feel so incredibly happy watching everyone get their very deserved promotions. I see now how hard it is and have a very deep respect for the process that I never would've had if I wasn't in the I Ho Chaun. I really love the group of people I spend this year with. You each helped me in some way, and I've never seen a like minded group like this filled with such positive intentions. I've gone from "I need to find another martial arts school closer to home" to "When can I move back to Stony Plain so I can be closer to the school?"

I feel the last couple months I missed out on alot. Unfortunately circumstances have made it so that I wasn't able to attend classes, I'm hoping this will change within the next month or so and things will be back to normal. Thank you Snake Team for teaching me so many things. I'll miss those that aren't on the team again this year and look forward to getting inspired by the members of the Year of the Horse.

Who Am I Now?

This is probably my last post as part of the Snake Team and I can't help but be a little reflective. This I Ho Chaun year has changed me in so many ways. I didn't fully complete many of the requirements but I see the benefit of starting to encorporate each one into my life. This year faced me with pretty much all my weaknesses and it was a difficult journey but well worth taking. I didn't realize how much time I wasted doing nothing but wasting away until this year. My diet was pretty gross when I think back on what I ate and I never really had any sort of sense of accomplishment, this year has been a little different.


Each requirement helped me in different ways. Having personal goals is a sure way of making sure I couldn't procrastinate and gave me a good kick in the rear to not keep putting things off. The pushups and situps helped with disciplining myself. The acts of kindness really made me face reality of the choices I make everyday and how I am impacting people. The logging showed my progress. The blogging shared my journey with others who may be facing the same issues and may be uncomfortable talking about it, therefore just maybe inspiring someone, that they can do this too. It was also a way to reach out to others when I couldn't say things face to face. Performing in front of others helped me to start allowing my body to react and use its muscle memory without allowing my mind to interfere. (This one is still a major work in progress) The kilometers got me off my lazy butt. The forms reps gave me a better eye for detail and allowed me to start feeling how my body moves. And, well the weapons form was just fun. By not being able to quit, I failed and started over many times but still slowly learned not to give up. It's simply a process to start changing your life for the better and you don't actually fail unless you stop trying. It's interesting too how I started adding more and different goals as the year progressed as I saw more things in myself I wanted to change. I still watch movies and some shows on Netflix but am learning how to knit so I'm not just rotting on my couch while doing so. I also started treating myself to manicures and pedicures on payday, I would never, ever do that before, but why not be nice to myself once in awhile.


I really enjoyed the group this year, I don't think that I've ever been around such a good group of people. I've learned so much from each of you and thank everyone who helped me along the way. I love the energy around the kwoon and like being there. I'm trying to convince Josh to move back to Spruce Grove when he's done school.


If you're reading this and think you can't do it, you can. If I can, you can. I was 30 when I started kung fu. Being older and out of shape has it's challenges but it's better than spending the rest of my life accomplishing nothing in front of a television.