For someone with anxiety issues, stability is a very important thing. When something interrupts routine, the anxiety starts making them do things they don't want to do. Having my hours cut at work and trying to figure things out is definitely making my brain glitch. I start to act obsessively way more out of control than usual. I cannot relax until my place is spotless, I'll check my oven 5 times before I'm convinced I turned it off. It becomes harder to manage than usual, and the stomach issues flare up like crazy. For those that don't have anxiety, imagine that feeling you get on one of those rides that drop 100 feet when you first start to drop...amplify that feeling by 10 or think of the feeling the last time you got really bad news. Now imagine feeling like that constantly over what should be a stupid little thing for a "normal" person. There can be no rhyme or reason that results in a panic attack. Logically, I know it doesn't make sense, still happens anyway, and the more you fight it, the worse it gets. You get stuck with a brain that you're constantly battling everyday, just to calm down and to be able to relax. The reason I'm bringing this up is because, again, someone suggested to me I teach first aid. Teaching, being in front of people, dear god no. My heart is racing and I want to puke thinking about it. However, I'm actually thinking about it this time regardless of the quivering hands and feeling like fainting. I mean, I guess, what's the worse that can happen? I vomit on someone and never see them again. I'll be in a small group, no crowd and even if I never actually teach, it's a step right? Oh dear...
See you at the kwoon.
I can understand feeling anxious. I have bad panic attacks every so often... Deep breaths....
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that you are considering teaching. I think you would be good at it... Definitely worth considering, but vomiting on clients is probably not the best start. ;-)