The last year and a half haven't been much fun. I was getting tested for cancer, in and out of hospitals with crazy stomach pains, diagnosed with anxiety and depression, laid off twice once right before Christmas and 10 days ago got t-boned, ended up with whiplash and still don't have a vehicle. So what to do? Curl up under a rock and hide? I'm not going to lie, I wanted to and did in fact spend months and months not venturing out into the world unless I absolutely had to. I realize I can't live life like this and am working really hard inside my head to change things.
So here's what I've done so far;
I joined the monkey team. Even though I haven't really been to kung fu, I still need the team to ground me. Even showing up when I can to watch class or take part of the meetings helps. I like you people and you can't get rid of me.
I am also going to university...EEP!!!! I am so scared about this...like I want to vomit on my shoes scared... I've been out of school since 1997. Since I got layed off and am now only working part time, I have the option of going to the U of A part to full time and the classes work around my work schedule and I already got the funding. I just need the bravery.
Now, how on earth am I going to make this work? Seriously? How?...not rhetorical...any advice would help. Work, school, I Ho Chaun...Am I mental? Well, I guess my previous blogs answer that one but for the first time I'm jumping in with both feet without months of preparation. I'm a planner, not a doer, other people do and I live vicariously through them. Heck, I don't even know if I'll be able to pay the bills...seriously...I may have to move in with one of you. I hope you like cats. And, skateboarding from Edmonton to Stony Plain may be my only option to get to a class. I should probably learn how to skateboard.
Ready or not, here I come.
It was great to see you again Ms. Gibbons. Wow! You are an amazing person . I am also going to school full time, so I have a pretty good idea what you are feeling. Living on a student loan and paying the bills is deffinately a challenge, never mind trying to deal with everything else. I haven't been in school since 1981 and a lot has changed. Even though it is challenging and I just want to pull out my hair and sceam sometimes, I really am enjoying the learning process much more than I thought I would. Plan and structure your time as much as possible, take it one day at a time and ask for help from your instructors, your friends and family. Anything I can do to help, just ask.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have the tiger by the tail as usual! One day at a time is the best way to go (just like being on the I Ho Chuan team), if you look to far ahead, it will freak you out and you won't do anything! Good luck to you, I look forward to hearing more of your adventures 😀
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