Am I ready to Roost?

I am coming up to my 5th year in I Ho Chaun. It's probably the only string I have left tying my to the school since not being around much the past 2 years and I am grateful for it. I have had a lot of challenges over the years and feel like even though my progress is slow, I'm still making progress, just in unexpected ways. 2016 started off with Josh and I getting into a car accident which ended up the last straw for me. My decision to go to school, move and get professional help for my anxiety issues stemmed from me feeling like I hit rock bottom and being overwhelmed with depression. Realistically speaking, I didn't hit rock bottom, it just felt like it at the time. I still had a roof over my head and the people I cared most about, but it was enough for me to make significant changes. Now, physically, I feel so much better, definitely NOT fitness wise, but I'm no longer feeling sick or in pain every day like I used to. Yay!

This year I need to focus on motivation and balance. I'm having a huge problem being motivated to do anything. When you're a big ball of anxiety like I was I kept busy all the time to get rid of all that access energy, now I don't seem to have that extra "push" and need to find different ways of motivating myself. I also need to start remembering my forms and getting back in shape. I think a lot of my personal goals will help me do that. If I can find the motivation, that is. I also need to maintain as much of a schedule as I can so I can do well at work, university, my relationships and kung fu. I have added time for each of these things in my calendar to help me re direct my thinking so I don't get so focused on one thing and have a healthy mixture of everything.

I look at people like Sihing Csillag and Sihing Chervenka. I have no idea how they do it. For Sihing Csillag to be able to be a wife, mother of 4 kids, work, and get through the I Ho Chaun. There's a prime example of someone who seems to be able to find balance. For Sihing Chervenka to be able to find motivation to practice after long work shifts and go through this program several times while on his own out on different work sites is beyond me. I don't think I'd be able to do that. I often see strengths in candidates year after year that I admire, and hope one day that I can be a good example for others who struggle like I do.

First, I need to work on being able to do one singular push up. My first IHC year I got up to 30 in a row, so I'm gunning to be able to do that again.

See you at the kwoon!