I've made so many improvements to my physical and mental well being I can finally say I am pretty darn content. Happy even for the most part. I sank deep into a negative head space for quite awhile before I was able to get where I am now. Finally accepting things I was unhappy with and doing something about them has driven me to help others. Suicide and severe depression are very real things. I have been directly affected by both and feel the need to help others suffering. Generally speaking, you won't know someone is to that point. There are several signs that someone is not doing well that can help you know when to reach out. Withdrawing from activities that someone used to love. Being suddenly unreliable. Poor hygiene. Sleeping a lot. Constantly being negative. It isn't the same for everyone, but if you notice a loved one behaving differently, reach out and even ask the person for coffee in hopes they open up to you. It's a very lonely feeling and quite embarrassing for most people to talk about. I can speak personally about the withdrawing and becoming unreliable as that is what I tended to do when I needed help the most.
I recently have started journalling and logging my numbers again. I have one week left with the learn to run running group before I start with the 5km group. I was asked to be a group leader for the new learn to run group starting in a couple weeks. Way out of my comfort zone, but I have accepted as it is a very small group and it'll be good to keep me accountable. I stand by the fact that I still hate running, it hurts and I can't breath, but man does it feel good when I'm done. Plus, 8 weeks ago, I couldn't even run 1 minute and this past run I did 2 10 minute intervals, so I definitely see progress even though I still feel like I'm dying. I may be being slightly dramatic.
I still have yet to make my kung fu classes due to some important personal issues I'm dealing with, but it is my next priority and as much as I'm anxious about it, I look forward to having regular attendance again.
See you at the kwoon!
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