Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Fear of the Unknown

Yay!  I explained to my boss my situation and that I do not want to miss Kung Fu.  I see all the people that started with me getting their blue belts or close to it and wonder, if I hadn't missed so much because of injuries, would I be there?  I don't want to do that again.  He agreed to allow me to temporarily use the work truck.
Now that I've got that sorted out all I have is a sense of fear.  I watch the demos, they were awesome...My stomach turned and I wanted to vomit just with the thought of possibly being up there next year.  I need to fight it.  I absolutely hate being in front of a bunch of people.  It's a completely irrational fear that I can't explain, but it's there, loud and clear, telling me to run as fast as I can away from the Kwoon. 
I need to beat this...
I will never learn ropedart
I will never get a blackbelt
I will never be brave
...Unless I do.

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