Kindnesses and Stuff

As I brought up in the I Ho Chaun meeting, I've been having some problems with kindnesses which I'm pretty sure made me sound like a terrible person. I was talking about it with Josh and he said I have a problem with articulating things properly when I'm feeling strongly about something. For the record, I have no issues with things like opening doors for someone, saying thank you, and general manners and being considerate. I have no issues with empathizing with people who may be having a bad day and may be acting different than they normally would because of that. I never thought of myself as someone who expects anything in return from doing a kindness for someone, but maybe I am, because I do get a little sad when someone doesn't even acknowledge my existence after I've opened a door for them, but I don't let that affect my day.

What I'm having a problem with is learning how to deal with mean and difficult people in a kinder way. My job is one where I deal with people complaining and fighting with each other all the time. One of the project managers nicknamed me "Mother Theresa" because it always seems I'm diffusing situations. I've also been getting shoved around and getting taken advantage a lot lately and I've been biting my tongue and feeling like a doormat. I'm not sure how to deal with these situations without being mean myself. I suppose this is an anger management problem and not a kindness problem but I still need to learn how to say things to stick up for myself in the "right" way.

This has been a rough I Ho Chaun year for me but I'm happy about a couple things. I've finally figured out a way to log which works for me. Seeing Mr. Smid's posts reminds me when I forgot and I've logged a lot more than I did last year. I've also been able to remember to do something almost everyday. Last year weeks would go by and I would put off doing pushups. This year I don't miss more than a couple days, a few at most. I reset every Monday no matter how bad the week has gone. I know that I'm not hitting my numbers but I've gotten stronger since the beginning of the year. So I'm good with that.

I missed all my classes this week. Josh was really sick and I started getting it at the beginning of the week. It didn't progress to anything too bad for me but it was enough that I felt really crappy by the time I got home from work. Hopefully next week goes better.