I'm OK With Failing and Getting Up and Failing Again

I had so many goals this year and I didn't achieve any of them. It was really disheartening for me. I really, really wanted to learn lion dance this year so I could learn to drum, I wanted to be able to do 30 real pushups in a row, I wanted to become more comfortable with sparring and had so, so many other things to achieve. At first all I felt was frustration and guilt. Frustration because I wasn't able to achieve the things I wanted to do, and guilt because I wasn't doing the things I said I would. Usually I'm one of the most reliable people I know, and this year that all changed not only with my kung fu but with everything else too.

I had to try to work on letting the guilt go. It was eating at me. There was nothing I could do about my situation, so I tried to be productive in other ways. I've read a lot about meditation, I learned a lot about foods, I've changed times that I do things to avoid situations that anger me. I've learned to deal with anger a lot better than I used to. Don't get me wrong, things still really tick me off, but I'm learning to control how I react.
I've learned to be more empathetic, I'm learning to shut my mouth and listen, I've learned I need more experiences than things. I've learned to live in the moment, and although I can't do it all the time, I sure love it when I do. I've learned I'm not a quitter and I learned I'm mentally stronger than I thought.

I am also so grateful that I met a few people through kung fu this year that I can have really honest conversations with and for the people who have been compassionately honest with me. I have a lot of respect for you.

So, while this year was a total bust for me for a lot of my I Ho Chaun goals, I got a lot out of it I wasn't expecting. My favourite thing was probably the photo Sifu Lindstrom got of me throwing Sihing Tymchuk during my one and probably my only ever demo appearance. By the way Sifu, you still have to send me that photo!!!