Well...I'm going to be honest here. Last week I didn't make it to any classes. The first part of the week I'm not sure what was wrong with me but I could barely stay awake and was in bed by 7:30 at the latest. The later part of the week, I didn't have access to a vehicle that would've been ok to drive in the weather we had. I'm still waiting for my tax return to fix my own personal vehicle.
Missing class, I should've practiced, but did I? No. I was tired, and couldn't for the life of me motivate myself to move from the couch. I often have problems motivating myself on my best days. It seems that if I have a place to go like the kwoon, I'm ok. Ask me to do stuff at home and I'll find a million other things to distract me or a million reasons why I can't. I think because of this, any time I miss a class I will post here as to why I was gone and what I practiced at home instead. If I don't have a good reason, at least this way I'll feel pretty stupid posting a lame excuse like I felt like watching Walking Dead DVDs instead. I am trying, but I'm not doing the best that I can right now, I can do better. I need to make better choices, old habits are hard to break. I'm starting to feel guilty now when I'm not there.
Just so you guys know, I won't be making it to class tonight, hopefully this will be the last one I miss. I will practice my forms at home and attempt to make my new ropedart.
If there is awareness, and there is, then the week is not wasted. Plus there are times when the body (and mind) truthfully do need rest and sleep. Listen to what your body needs. There is a big difference between laziness and need.
ReplyDeleteWanting to change (even if it sucks!) is always the first step. You sound like you know what to do and how your doing it--dont forget, its a journey, right? Baby steps first. Change is painful, but the results are totally worth it:)
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